It’s almost summer…That time of the year when you step into a new year. Confusing, right? Summer is not only the time when you are (as the ‘lover boy’ Andrew Garfield said before) ‘being bathed in sunlight’ or being all relaxed. It is the time when people from all ethnicities and backgrounds convene together at that ivory, scorching beach to check off that summer bucket list. It is also the time when you are at your highest peak of being all ‘social’ and for some, it is their time to lead others on ‘for fun’…Wait, what if things don’t go according to plan?
Before getting all serious, remember to set boundaries. That does not merely apply here but to all relationships in your life. For instance, if you are a person who is not fond of physical affection, then make sure they are well aware of that. Perhaps, you are not a person who does not like people talking about their personal matters, so then let the person know that you are not comfortable with them getting all personal. For some, time is a boundary: your ‘thing’ cannot text you at 3 AM expecting an instant reply. In short, if there is anything that generally bothers you with people who are not close to you, then let them know from the very beginning.
Enjoy But Don’t Take It Too Far!
So, yes, you are allowed to hang out with your ‘fling’! You can go swimming together and check off that summer bucket list together all you want. Get to know them better and they can get to know you too; however, do not do anything that will somehow cross your ethical ‘standards’. Most importantly, you must know before getting closer that this is temporary: in a week or two, you both will return back to your lives and frankly, ‘long-distance’ relationships do not always work.
Sometimes, it can work out like this or this…
Uh-Oh: Summer Lover Got Attached!
Well, now is the time to go back to school, college or work…They will not stop texting you 24/7 nor are they giving you any ‘space’. In fact, they are becoming too clingy and obnoxious – it is (to a great extent) draining you. Then, communication is the ultimate key. I know it sounds like a cliche, but it is absolutely true. Be as honest as you can about how you are feeling – it is not in their power to be all controlling. Yes, you had your fun but now is the time to apply these boundaries.
Actually…I Am The One Who Got Attached and All Toxic?
If the other party seems too bothered but they are not explicitly stating it so as to not hurt you, then be brave enough to ask them how they feel about you texting all the time. If the same energy is being returned, then no need. You need to know that being too attached while relying your entire happiness on someone is as draining and as toxic as being the one who has someone attached to you. Both parties are exhausted.
Try going a day or two without being in contact and learn to be more independent. It will definitely be harsh at first but eventually, you will learn to be extremely dependent on yourself. Expecting someone to make you happy all the time will get you nothing but disappointment. Attempt a new hobby or finish that series you were watching. Life is much more than attaching and linking yourself to a summer fling who could not care equally.