Insecurities are perhaps the only emotions that hold us back from being what we fully desire. Shape-shifting like the werewolves they are, insecurities come in relentless forms: be they relationship insecurities, social insecurities or even basic need insecurities. No one is fully in love with who they are or what they symbolise, which is okay; however, letting insecurities take over your life is not fine. Let me guide you through the cure to the soul-sucking disease of insecurity!
Where did these insecurities originate from?
First and foremost, you must identify the problem. Is it the people around you always lessening from who you are? Did your lack of adequate self-esteem originate from childhood? Is it consistently comparing yourself to others? Though insecurities arise from various origins, their antidote is identical: facing the reality. Instead of bottling away your emotions and hindering how you actually feel, face the truth. Acknowledge what you are not a fan of concerning how you look, act or think in particular ways. Try writing it out or just talk to yourself out loud.
What is my first step towards murdering those insecurities?
Recognising your ‘insecurities’ (let us use a smoother term: ‘weaknesses’) is the first and most significant step. Then, try contemplating your strengths or what you love about yourself. While doing that, you will need to re-affirm these particular strengths every morning and every night. Overcoming your weaknesses/insecurities does not happen overnight; however, taking initiative can occur in seconds.
Time to face your insecurities
Now, the so-called ‘flaws’ you possess need to be addressed. After listing them out, ask yourself ‘Can I change anything about them?’ If you do not have control over your insecurities, then you must work on acceptance – not changing whatever you feel must be changed. Nonetheless, if you pinpoint changeable imperfections, then the time has come when you work on modifying that fault. Sooner, matters will enhance and you will concede a change.
Slaughter that mindset!
Adjusting perspectives and viewpoints on matters stabilises your sense of security and self-esteem. For instance, if you believe a group of people are talking about you, do not self-criticise but try telling yourself, “Wow! I must be awesome giving them something to talk about”. Talk to yourself as how you would talk to a friend or family member. Whatever situation you are going through, step out for a moment and pretend as though you are a counsellor advising you.
After exploring all possible alterations, you could do to yourself, take a moment to glance around you. The issue could lie within your very circle. Those ‘little’ personal jokes your friends make that sting a bit hold a little truth behind them. Evaluate your friends’ attitudes toward you, others and themselves – they show a lot. Replacing those who play a major role in how you feel about yourself is imperative in order to move forward. As soon as you substitute those despondent, negative friends, you will notice a major shift in how you feel about yourself!
The transition is arduous but worthy! No human is perfect but no human is completely horrendous. Love yourself precisely how you would like to be loved. Those thoughts that haunt you will eventually become nothing but rubble of the past.