How to be more confident.

Who are you when no-one is watching? Are you more brave? more outgoing? More in the moment? Too many questions, and too many answer. There is always a hidden personality under the real personality, people say when i’m “comfortable” you’ll find me so much fun to be around, they say “the more you get to know me, the more you’ll like me i promise”, I always wonder why you have to switch, and also the fact that it’s something we automatically do and without second thoughts is even more scarier. It’s like we are all programmed into being someone we are not, we try to fit into the image, because too different makes you “weird”, and on the other hand when you start comparing someone to the other you say “not everyone’s the same, people are meant to be different.” But i don’t get it, you know that people are meant to be different, but you still try to fit into the image of the society, the standards that were added to our minds like a disease, beauty standards, job standards, friends qualifications, reputations, images of how cool you look, how many likes you have on social media platforms and do you like the “popular artist” or you just like a different band because you’re “different” aka “weird?

I ask myself, how can i be more confident? Should i start meeting new people, get out of my comfort zone, start a business, lose weight, plan a new routine and finish my last assignment. I wonder why do we have to worry so much about what we are and who we are, i wonder why being different isn’t normal while it should be, i wonder why judging is normalized while body shaming isn’t, i wonder if i have to keep pretending just because it’s all too much and it never, will never make sense. Being confident isn’t a must, it’s a natural habit or the human beings, i’ll keep holding on to my words and i’ll say “not everyone is the same” because yes we are all meant to be different, so today i won’t help you with how to be confident, i’ll help you find out what suits you and what makes you automatically, naturally confident.

You have to start paying more attention to the things that makes you feel good about yourself, most people love working out even when they have no goal to reach, just the act of working out makes them feel good about their selves, even if the workout didn’t last, even if they skipped some steps just because they’re tired, they still felt good. Others feel good after studying 2 hours, they felt like they have achieved something, even if they spent half of it playing, wasting time, zoning out and imagining what life could be if they didn’t have to spend their evenings studying for the biology quiz. Others love dressing up and playing with makeup, while listening to music, even if they had trouble adding eyeliner, even if the makeup isn’t perfect, they still like it and it made them feel good. You don’t have to be permanently confident, because full confidence doesn’t exist, everyone has their ups and down, everyone has their own private time, it’s okay to not feel confident, but it’s not okay to let others control it, the society’s standards and what other people think about are just bunch of unrealistic thoughts, social media’s pictures are filtered, edited and 100% not real, you won’t know for sure unless you live with them, that’s why you can’t be confident, while comparing yourself to everyone and everything. Give yourself a break to develop and progress, it’s literally part of the whole journey, you have to learn to love who you are, who you want to be and who you were. Because you are you no matter what is the timeline or where is the timeline, no-one will ever save you, no-one will wipe your tears, no-one will make sure to check on you, no-one will change your mood, no-one will get you this job, no-one will lose you weight, no-one will study for you and lastly no-one will be you, but you, so take the opportunity to get to know you, just like you take the opportunity to get to know him/her, take the opportunity to love you, just like you love him/ her. Because the missing piece isn’t them, the missing piece is you and will always remain you, but if you are willing to take it. So, tell me who are you?

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