Do Breaks in Relationships Really Work?

With the debate seeming to never end, the question is as old as ever. While the answer to that question ultimately lies with you and your partner, there are some steps to take which could help you decide if a break will help in your relationship.

  1. Assess the state of the connection – take some time to reflect on your feelings and evaluate the current state of the relationship. What are the main challenges you’re facing, and how have they affected you?
  1. Consider your motives – ask yourself why are you considering taking a break. Are you hoping to work through specific issues, or are you feeling overwhelmed and you’re solely in need of some time and space?
  1. Communicate with your partner – have an honest and open conversation with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Listen to their perspective and try to understand where they’re coming from!
  1. Evaluate your options – consider what taking a break would look like for your relationship. How long would the break last, and what are the expectations for contact during that time? What are the potential consequences of taking a break – be they positive or negative?
  1. Seek outside help – if you’re struggling to make a decision, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist for support and guidance.
  1. Make a decision – based on the information you’ve gathered, make a decision about whether taking a break is the right choice for you and your relationship.

While these steps may seem simple, they can still be challenging to follow through. I’ve added a few questions that you can start asking yourself and your partner to help ease the process.

@choosingtherapy People’s reasons for taking a break in a relationship can often indicate whether it is a good idea or not. For example, a relationship break can help people who want space to explore issues on their own. But, it may not be so helpful for people who want to punish their partner for infidelity. It’s important to have honest conversations with your partner and yourself about why you want a break and be on same page about it. Video by: Andrea Brognano, LPC, LMHC Article: Taking a Break in a Relationship: Does It Work? Written by: Silvi Saxena MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C Medically Reviewed by: Heidi Moawad MD Published: 10/21/2022 #relationshipbreak #relationshipproblems #relationshiptiktok❤️❤️ #takingabreak #relationshipstruggles #relationshipadvice101 ♬ original sound – ChoosingTherapy: Mental Health

Questions to ask yourself about that relationship

It’s important to sit down with yourself and ask why you feel like taking a break. Is it something internal? Do you feel overwhelmed in the relationship? Is it because of their behaviour? Is this behaviour consistent or sporadic? Can you deal with this behaviour for a prolonged period of time? If the answer is no to that last one, maybe it’s best to think about the relationship as a whole. What do you plan to do during this break? Are you going to take time to think, self-reflect, or relax? 

Questions to ask each other about the relationship

When talking to your partner, you have to go into the conversation with the intent of finding a solution – not winning. Make sure both your needs and emotions are being communicated. Ask each other, “What’s lacking in our bond right now?” Can this be fixed (immediately)? Do you have any expectations for this break? How will we communicate, and to what extent? What boundaries should we set so we still feel comfortable and respected? When do you think we should decide to get back together or not?


Remember, taking a break is not a guarantee that your connection will improve. It’s important to approach the decision with thoughtfulness and care and to be willing to work through any issues that arise if you want it to work. If you do decide to take a break, it’s important to set clear boundaries and expectations and to communicate regularly with your partner to ensure that both of you are on the same page.

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